I wanted to be America's Next Top Model....

America's Next Top Model is defianetly my favourite tv- show and now they have a competition for viewers as well. You need to pose and then send your amazing poses to them and then you could win something. And every week there is a new posing task. There was a task about accessorising with this seasons hot new must haves. I chose kitten heels from their list. I didn't really have a clue what they were...kitten heels...and by the time I had finally butchered a kitten and mangled it into a high heel shoe, they had bloody changed the task! Bastards. My dream is shattered. I am devastated...

Does my bum look big in this?

This is it! Me on Jeremy Kyle show!

Fat Tim's House Party

Last friday we had our final exhibition for performance elective called Fat Tim's House Party. I wore these badges(above) so that I could be related to my video...


This is my work! Amazing display. I am totally fed up on carrying that bloody tv around Peckham...


These were the muffins that were intended to be eaten. No one wanted to touch them though. I wonder why.

Domestic Fighting

For our final exhibition I will be looking at arguing and basically just trying to show how stupid it is. When people really argue, when they get mad and angry there is often more emotions involved than rational thinking. If we would solve the problems purely rationally there will be no big conflicts, I am sure. Great place to see obviously stupid fighting are trash tv-shows such as Maury or our very own Jeremy Kyle show. I am fascinated by these shows. People go to them to solve their very personal issues right infront of tv cameras. They are encouraged to get angry. The more outrageously they behave the better the show is. Viewer is led to feel ashamed for but also superior to these people. Especially in Jeremy Kyle show the role of the host is to be the moral advisor. He really gives his 'right' opinions loudly. The common issues in these shows are about relationships and cheating. Show even provides lie detector tests to prove people guilty or innocent. On my performance or better video I will pretend to be on Jeremy Kyle show but I will be fighting over someting even more pointless. My subject is simply 'does my bum look big in this?' which is nearly an iconic cause of fights between couples.
Above are my 'promotion' pictures for my performance!

a tribute to the song I hate most

It's ofcourse the Candy Shop....


...by 50 cent! I made him into a lollipop. Song goes something like this " Welcome to the candy Shop...lick you like a lollipop"



My candy jacket!


My chocolate pants!


Whole outfit and ready to go. This tribute was part of a performance organized by our tutor Mark McGowan. And the performance was part of an exhibition "Alternative Risk Transfer" at The Rag Factory. There was a tv screen in exhibiton space and camera inside a small closed space. People took turns and went into that small space to do their performances. Camera was rolling all the time and whole thing was shown on that tv sreen. Hopefully Mark will put the thing on you tube soon so I can put a link in here.

Why I did what I did: Well I really do hate that song. It is probably the most sexist thing ever. The whole bling bling hip hop culture gives be creeps. Guys with bling and money, golden teeth and fat rings in every finger surrounded by bootylicious women in tiny bikinis. The women shake shake shake and are well, only sexy. It's porn basically and the most extreme excample of this all is Candy Shop by 50 cent.
So I hate the song. Hate is a good source for innovation. Much better than love or just liking something. Hate is such a strong emotion. It makes you angry. You have to have good reasons to really hate something. All this makes hate a bloody brilliant tool to work with! And it was fun. I shaked my chocolicious booty like there was no tomorrow!

if I was a man....

See, there is a clear similarity between the MAN me and Kurt Cobain! Clearly!


As a man I needed to have my beard shaven by a real barber. So I went to one. This is the place I chose and me waiting for my turn.




My mum told me that my name would be Niko Teemu Taneli, if I would have been a boy. It's not that funny in English. It is a very embarrasing name, I can assure you. I was never really girly girl and now I am not the most feminine woman either. Still it was rather tricky to try to be like a man convinsingly. I went for a metrosexual type....That's what I would be like if I was a man.

Sweden versus Finland

This is the performance by Miriam and I on Speakers Corner. It is filmed from inside the massive cardboard telly, the one shown in previous post. We are demonstrating the relationship between 2 nordic countries: Sweden and Finland. It is a competitive relationship and well seen on icehockey games. Nothing is more important than have a victory from your neighbouring country.